Your marital settlement agreement has longed since been signed and you now have the
uncontested divorce decree in your hands. Yet, you feel that there is something not quiet right. You may be sensing that you need some form of closure. We have some ideas to help you move on to the next phase in your life by possibly finding some closure.
Letter Writing
After any type of divorce, whether a simple, uncontested, no fault divorce, or a hotly contested divorce), there are normally many things that are left unsaid for a lot of reasons. Why keep them bottled up? It's not healthy. Letter writing is a great way to release your emotions in a controlled and healthy way. Write about the emotions that you feel. Be descriptive and let it out. You don't have to be polite. No one will see the letter unless you give it to them. That said, don't mail your letter. Keep it safe, tear it up, burn it, but don't send it. This is for your eyes only.
Some people only want to write a letter to their ex spouse. Other individuals include letters to their former in-laws. If you feel you have unfinished business with someone, other than your ex, write the letter. Again, whatever you do DON"T send the letter. Sending it will do no good, and may cause further harm to you both, and healing from your divorce will most likely take longer.
You can write several letters if you feel you have a lot to say. The type of letter is your choice. Letters can range from venting to saying good-bye. There are also books on the market which can give you letter writing ideas.
Write a Story
Story writing can be a helpful way of obtaining obtaining losure after an uncontested divorce Your story can be short or as long as you want. There is no English teacher looking over your shoulder counting words or checking your grammar, so don't let writing intimidate you. Isabel Allende, an author, accidentally wrote her first book by writing a letter each day at her kitchen table. By the end of a year's worth of writing she had her first novel.
Keep Busy
You don't want to get caught in a downward spiral of negative thoughts from your uncontested or contested Pennsylvania divorce. Find a new hobby, join a fitness center or sign-up for some classes for a new career. Create a new social group of people you interact with, this will help in creating positive new memories.
Having a divorce party is a great way to bring your social network together. This is an opportunity for you to be supported and loved by your friends. It's also a way of letting go of the past and empowering yourself for a brighter future.
Perception
Your perception on your divorce will most likely be the deciding factor on how long your healing process will take. If you decide to hold on to negative thoughts you will be more challenged with moving on. Looking at this moment as a new beginning and not an ending will open you up to a new attitude. With a more positive mindset you are more likely to take a chance on reinventing yourself and doing all those things you have only wished about.
Don't expect that you will find a magic answer to the grieving, pain and anger brought out by your uncontested divorce. These ideas are ways to start your healing because this is a process and will take time. Yet, it's important to start taking healthy steps towards closure and moving on with your life.
