Some people say, “The only difference between a regular committed relationship and marriage is a piece of paper.” When you get down to it, there’s a lot of truth to that, but if that were the case, why do so many people procrastinate when it comes to divorce? Often, it comes down to two things: kids and money.
If you have kids under the age of 18, this is probably a no-brainer. When many parents contemplate divorce, they’re afraid of things like losing custody, barely ever seeing their children, having their relationship destroyed by the divorce, parental alienation, a stepparent arriving on the scene, and having to pay child support. Surely, the parents reading this one can relate to one or more of the above concerns.
Then...there’s the whole money issue.
Money as a Fear Motivator
Money is a very strong driver. It drives motivation and it drives fear. Often, people will decide to remain in an unhappy marriage because they don’t want to pay spousal support, they don’t want to divide their 401(k) in half, they don’t want to sell their house, they don’t want to split the marital estate, and they don’t feel like dealing with the hassle of canceling joint credit cards, refinancing auto loans and mortgages.
It’s surprising just how many people will drag their feet on a divorce filing because they just can’t see themselves confronting the money aspect. Instead of filing for divorce, some people will lie to their spouses, live double lives, and even have affairs behind their spouses’ backs because living a secret life seems easier than facing divorce. In fact, this happens a lot, so if you can relate, you have plenty of company.
The Optimum Solution
If you find yourself miserable and stalling on your divorce because of kids or money, or both, there is a better way. As in all things in life, whether it has to do with organizing the garage, filing your taxes, calling on that big medical bill, facing a minor lawsuit with a neighbor, or cleaning out your closet, it’s always better to do the things you’re putting off. Almost 100 percent of the time, it’s not half as bad as you think.
Usually, we build things so much in our heads that we make problems bigger than they actually are. Divorce is no different. If you’re unhappy, there’s no reason to delay the inevitable. File for divorce. Start living your life and creating the next chapter so you can finally find the happiness you deserve. To get started on your journey, contact Cairns Law Offices and ask about our low-cost divorce services.
