Marriage often feels like life’s most complicated project. Some couples feel as if they are always searching for ways to keep their relationship stable, interesting, happy, and moving forward. Many couples that get divorced usually list a myriad of reasons why the felt their marriage didn’t make it. It’s common for at least one party in the marriage to state they no longer feel happy in the union.
Interestingly, in a survey of married adults, researchers found that 1315 adults of 5232 interviewed, felt unhappy in their marriage. Of those unhappily married couples interviewed, some divorced and some decided to stay married. When the researchers returned and interviewed them again after five years, 80% of the unhappily married couples who decided to remain in their marriages found they were happy they didn’t divorce. They also felt more satisfied in their relationship than when they were originally interviewed. Of the unhappily married couples, only 19% stated they were happier since going through with their divorce.
The major takeaway from the study was that unhappiness is a fleeting emotion, and it’s often not truly indicative of how one feels about their marriage. If one partner is getting a divorce simply because they feel unhappy in the marriage, the study suggests getting divorced for this reason is a mistake.
For those who are currently unhappy in their marriage, here are five things to try before getting a divorce.
- Spend Time With Strong Couples: Researchers have studied couple friend groups. Interestingly, when couples in the group start divorcing, it’s as if it’s contagious. When one couple’s marriage fails within the group, the rest of the couples begin examining their marriages and looking for flaws. If you are unhappy in your marriage, surround yourself with strong couples who will encourage you to work on your marriage. Being around those in happy relationships will put less strain on your marriage and help you look for the positive attributes in your relationship.
- Consider Counseling: Marriage counseling can be preventative, and it doesn’t have to be a remedy to a problem. Many couples view marriage counseling as a sign something is wrong or that your relationship is headed for divorce, but it can also put a drifting marriage back on track.
- Eliminate Debt: Financial problems are a leading cause of marital strife and divorce. If you and your spouse are struggling and unhappy in your marriage, the problem could be your financial health. If you don’t have debt, but you and your spouse aren’t on the same page about your financial choices, you need to discuss monetary issues and work hard to get your finances in order.
- Date Your Spouse: If you have been married for a long time, every day can start to repeat itself. Letting your marriage become routine and boring can lead to unhappiness and loneliness. Start spending quality time together. Plan date nights. Don’t let your marriage become boring. Spending time together can remind you why you got together in the first place. If you are feeling unhappy in your marriage, maybe you’re lonely. Spend time with your spouse and see if you still want to be together.
- Make Plans Together: If you’re unhappily married, ask yourself who is driving your relationship. Is it you? Is it your partner? Are you just coasting? Don’t just sit back and let the car that is your relationship steer itself. Make plans together. You should be intentional about your relationship and what happens between you and your spouse. Most people don’t get married just to ruin it, but if you aren’t intentional about your choices, that’s what will happen.
When you’re ready to discuss filing for divorce, the attorneys at Cairns Law Group can help. Call now at (888) 863-9115 for information about our affordable uncontested divorce.
