More and more, people are recognizing that parental divorce affects adult children just as much, if not more, than minor children. Adult children, from college-aged individuals to older adults, can also be significantly impacted by parental divorce, even when it occurs later in life.
The emotional fallout of a parental gray divorce can be profound. Adult children may experience a sense of betrayal, abandonment, or loss. They may also question their own relationship with their parents and grapple with feelings of guilt or shame.
Parental divorce can also impact adult children in the following ways:
- Disrupting long-standing family traditions and dynamics, leading to a sense of disorientation or instability.
- Leading to financial complications when it comes to financial support, estate planning, and inheritances.
- Necessitating adjustments to family gatherings or holidays, potentially straining relationships or creating logistical challenges.
How can parents work to ease the strain and stress of their divorce on their adult children? We offer some general tips below.
Don’t Ask Your Child to Choose Sides
Divorcing parents can demonstrate respect and empathy for their adult children by refraining from pressuring them to choose sides or take a stance in the conflict. Instead, parents should create a safe and supportive environment where adult children feel comfortable expressing their emotions and concerns without fear of judgment or manipulation. By fostering open communication and avoiding placing undue burdens on their adult children, divorcing parents can help mitigate the negative impact of the separation on their family relationships.
It is important to remember that adult children are individuals with their own unique perspectives and experiences. By allowing them the freedom to navigate their own emotions and relationships without parental interference, divorcing parents can empower their adult children to develop their own coping mechanisms and maintain healthy connections with both parents.
Don’t Overshare Specifics
Parents can protect their adult children from unnecessary emotional distress by exercising discretion in the details they share about the separation. It is important to avoid divulging information that may be hurtful, embarrassing, or irrelevant to the adult children's well-being.
Explain What Changes They Should Expect
While you don’t want to overshare, you should still be honest about the practical aspects of your divorce that affect your child. This includes communicating who will be moving out, whether the family home will be sold, and any other significant changes that may affect their adult children's lives.
Don’t Over-Rely on Your Child
You should avoid placing undue burdens on their adult children by over-relying on them for emotional support, advice, or practical assistance during the separation process. While it is natural to seek comfort and guidance from loved ones, it is important to remember that adult children may already be struggling to cope with their own emotions and adjust to the changes in their family dynamics.
While you should be honest about how you feel and what you’re going through, instead of relying solely or heavily on your children for support, consider reaching out to friends or support groups. Having a strong support network outside of their immediate family can be important for helping you cope with and move forward after your divorce.
Don’t Forget They Can Be Affected Financially
Parental divorce can have significant financial repercussions for adult children, regardless of their age. College-aged children may find their financial support reduced or eliminated due to the decreased income and increased expenses associated with the separation. This can lead to challenges in affording tuition, housing, or other essential costs.
Also, adult children of all ages may need to adjust their financial plans to accommodate the potential needs of their parents. As parents age, their health may decline, requiring increased medical care or assistance with daily living activities. These expenses can place a strain on adult children's finances, particularly if they are not adequately prepared. Also, changes in family dynamics and inheritance plans can also have financial implications for adult children.
Keep the Divorce Process Simple & Amicable
You can significantly reduce the stress and emotional turmoil experienced by their adult children by striving to maintain an amicable and cooperative approach throughout the divorce process. One way to achieve this is by filing for an uncontested divorce.
By choosing an amicable path, divorcing parents can set a positive example for their adult children, demonstrating that disagreements can be resolved respectfully and without resorting to hostility. This can help foster a sense of trust, cooperation, and understanding within the family, even as they navigate the challenges of divorce. Filing uncontested and agreeing on the terms of the divorce can also show your children that you are willing to preserve your relationship and act civilly, which can mean less disruption during family events and holidays.
Let Cairns Law Offices help you file for an uncontested, no-fault divorce online. Our Divorce Wizard helps you keep the process simple and easy, and our services are affordable.
Learn more about our online divorce services. Call (888) 863-9115.
